範例請見此連結
http://www.mbacareerfitter.com/pdf/PhaseIII_sample_MrV.pdf
以下為來信往返內容
Q:
Hi,
I got your mail id from a chat forum on businessweek.......you offered to help a prospect there, and I too am one.....would you be willing to assess my chances of application to Stanford R2....have applied already, was just a little keen to show it to someone who'd give me an informed advice.....
A:
Hi V,
Sorry I was quite busy yesterday. I read your package and would like to comment that you may have a 70~80% chance to get into Stanford GSB. As I interacted with Stanford's adcom last year in national MBA career fair, they positioned GSB as a general management school like a compact Harvard, not particularly entrepreneurial or high-tech. Of course they have major presense of super successful entrepreneurs and high-tech professionals, but it's because of the location and the regional environment, not by intention, according to the adcom.
You have some extraordinary achievements in several giant companies, lots of impressive extracurricular activities, especially flying, and you leveraged it as your major value in terms of "freedom." You also positioned yourself as an entrepreneur to match the aspirational entrepreneurship spirit in Stanford GSB. And obviously you'd read lots of novels that your essays were really splendid and attractive for adcoms to keep reading your stories. All of these were great advantages to your essay package.
However, your essays and stories were, not critically, but somewhat incomplete. While not only your stories, but also your career logic was a little bit vague. Your GPA, even not in the U.S. 4.0 system, could make adcom frown, either. Your 700+ GMAT can make up a bit for your academic capacity, but the break down matters that your V was only 35.
The essay materials you picked was majorly "freedom" and "entrepreneurship," also altruism to poverty. All of them were great, but the freedom part was not assertive enough. It worked well with your flying hobby but it was quite empty beyond this freedom value. You may need 1 to 2 steps deeper to fulfill this value with more progressive extension like "innovation" or "exploration" to achieve some goals ahead. You also need to correlate all these values with your career goals, and these goals should be lined up with a core theme that inevitably need the Stanford GSB. So far these values are saperated from each other.
The 3rd and 4th essays could go 1 step further, too. And the financial plan for poverty and be connected with the entrepreneurship one, while you need a clear and specific business plan for your entrepreneurial dream, or at least have a clear direction that you're already on your way. The 4th one was a bit pity that you could leverage the constraint to explain what and how will you leverage GSB.
But don't get discourged by any of these, you still have big chance. Overall, since you have pretty decent and solid experience, also quite well-rounded personality and interesting life, you should be able to get the interview, and may be blessed to have an admission if you correlate all the dots and ace in the interview.
Sincerely,
David
李大衛生涯管理中心
NSHMBA美國最大MBA徵才會 首位華人顧問
世上最快樂的人!你也可以~
Never Work Again, To Get Happy and Rich!
“I've been admitted to Harvard Business School. Thank you!” - Ms. W
“I got in from Amazon!” - Ms. H
"透過Career Branding讓我更清楚目標與個人特色，在PE面試備受董事矚目，順利進入公司擔任Associate。非常感謝您!” Ms. L
“我把興趣變工作了!” Mr. L
MBA數百萬豪賭,選校寫Essay苦無頭緒?
熱情生涯在哪?
簡單三步驟: 生涯三驅力,機會管理,個人品牌行銷
davidl@mbacareerfitter.com
Monday Blue Buster 週一MBA生涯公益答疑日~